“Films today show only a dream world and have lost touch with the way people really are… In this country, people die at 21. They die emotionally at 21, maybe younger… My responsibility as an artist is to help people get past 21… The films are a roadmap through emotional and intellectual terrain that provides a solution on how to save pain.”

John Cassavetes 

sometimes i feel like my desire for people to experience emotional chaos with me is immature. i want everyone around me to get drunk with passion like you allowed yourself when you were a teenager. every moment can be impactful when you live like this. it’s lonely over here sometimes. nietzsche said “one must have chaos within oneself, to give birth to a dancing star”. does that make sense to anyone else? trying to get over the torment is what life is. i don’t think you’re supposed to actually get over it. anytime i feel too comfortable or “okay” i slowly start to hate myself. at least cassavetes gets it.